Oh boy oh boy that hurt, hitting his toe with the Hammer of Bummer, and his thumb already bandaged and inflamed from a knife fight in the kitchen (said wounding leading inexorably towards the drop of said Hammer onto said toe, or rather ex-toe, hey, Mr. Greenie, don’t pigeon-arm that mallet just because you got an opposable ouch, Grip it with ganas!) Accidents pile up, don’t they, but that is due entirely to the fact that you are driving like an asshole, did you know that that extra 20 mph over instead of 10 is going to deliver a return of exactly 5 minutes on every hour which adds up to great things if you are driving to, say, Managua from our sovereign Great Lake State, but I mean, who ordered that Hammer in the first place? Did you think those double Ms were fancy pants Celtic Ts in the style of an illuminated manuscript? And what about Vegan Suzy, did you ever think about her feelings for even a second?
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